


A Cannibal’s Creativity

by TheWrath_Of_TheLion



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: ;), Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:39:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17752211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWrath_Of_TheLion/pseuds/TheWrath_Of_TheLion
Summary: Hannibal, will you marry me?”Hannibal had tears in his eyes as he said, “Yes.”





	A Cannibal’s Creativity

Will was busy fishing when Hannibal came up behind him. He said “Hello, Will.” 

Will became very angry at this. “Can’t you see I am busy?” He shouted. “Go back into the kitchen where you belong!” 

Hannibal became very sad at these words, and retreated back to the house where he would go into the kitchen. The only thing he was good for was cooking food. He knew this. Somberly, he began to make a meal. He got ingredients from the toaster, and threw them together in a large bowl and vigorously started mixing everything together. 

When he was done mixing, he poured it onto a plate. He stared at the perfection that the completed meal radiated. Suddenly he was very angry because he was hungry. Angrily, he pulled a Snickers bar out of his pocket, and took a large bite out of it. “I am not me when I’m hungry.” He whispered to himself with tears in his eyes. 

Then, Will came into the house where he saw Hannibal sitting on the floor with the Snickers bar in hand. “What is this? A party and I was not invited?” Will stared longingly at the Snickers bar. 

“Leave me be! I am trying to consume the feelings away!” Hannibal said, distraught. 

Jack Crawford enters the scene. “I have you right where I want you Hannibal!” He said aiming a gun at him. “We know of your crimes!” 

Springing into action, Hannibal quickly tried to defend himself. He threw the Snickers bar at Jack where it landed perfectly into his mouth. Jack was surprised, and ended up choking on the Snickers bar and dying. 

Will stared in horror at the sight of Jack bleeding all over his pristine white carpet. “Hannibal, how could you do this? You know that this is my favorite carpet, I shall be forced to punish you!” 

Hannibal screamed in agony, “Nooooo, anything but a punishment!” The last time that he was punished he was forced to stand in the corner while Will threw crayons at him. 

“It’s for your own good.” Will said. Silently, he dragged Hannibal away by his fingernails, and sat him down in a chair. He tied Hannibal’s hands behind his back, and fastened his legs as well. 

Will walked away for thirty seconds and returned with Jack’s severed ear. “Let’s see how you like it!” He shouted at Hannibal. 

Will took a plastic tube and shoved it down Hannibal’s throat. He then placed the ear inside, and made it fall down the tube. The ear was now in his belly. Hannibal was then untied from the chair. 

Smugly, Hannibal says, “Jokes on you, I do not care if there is an ear in my stomach. I am a cannibal!” 

Will gasped in shock at this news. He did not know how such a good cook like Hannibal could be such a disgusting creature. He fell to the ground and fainted. 

Hannibal was surprised at this, and worried that he had killed Will with his devilishly good looks. Hannibal knew he was handsome, but not to the extent that it could kill someone. With this new-found knowledge, he took a paper bag and put it over his head. He did not want to harm anyone. He did not think to cut eye holes, so he stumbled around and fell face first onto the floor. Since he could not see where he was going and could not get up, he promptly suffocated.

Hours later, Will wakes up and he smells something bad. He searched around his house for this source of the smell, and spotted Hannibal’s rotting corpse. Birds were already picking at his flesh. “Ah-ha! So this is the source of the smell. It’s smells mighty good!” 

In Will’s hometown this was considered good eating, so he preserved Hannibal’s flesh to prepare for later. 

Will called Frederick Chilton, and told him to come over for dinner. When Frederick arrived Will told him, “I have prepared Hannibal’s corpse for dinner. It taste good.” 

Frederick said “Okay.”, and they began to feast. 

Suddenly, a mysterious figure leaped through the window and into the dinner table, sending fragments of glass everywhere. The figure was revealed to be Hannibal as he shouted, “I lived bitches!” 

Hannibal turns to Will and says, “ I cannot believe you would eat me. I feel betrayed.” He languished. “I thought what we had was special!” 

Will knew that an upset Hannibal meant bad news, so he quickly sent Fredrick home. He then presented a Snickers bar to Hannibal of which he pulled out of his pocket. “Hannibal, will you marry me?” 

Hannibal had tears in his eyes as he said, “Yes.” 

He took the Snickers bar from Will, and vored it right in front of his beloved. He had been waiting for this precise moment. Will had confessed his feelings for him, so he would do so in turn. 

Hannibal unhinged his jaw, and out came the song of a million birds. Hannibal had to work on his quadriceps somehow. 

Taking Hannibal’s declaration of love quite seriously, Will threw himself onto the ground and pretended to swim. He belonged in the ocean with the other dolphins, but he had been taken away when he was very young. He began the dolphin mating ritual. 

Hannibal gasped in shock. Years ago, the consumption of water had been outlawed, and now Will was throwing this in his face? He would not stand for this. He approached Will and stood him up. 

Clutching onto Will, Hannibal whispered sweet apologies into his ears. He plunged the knife into his stomach, and Will fell gasping onto the floor. What Will had done was unforgivable, and Hannibal could not imagine doing so. 

Hannibal then went to Italy because he like pasta, and Will went to a hospital. 

The end. 

I promise that no cannibals or empaths we’re harmed in the making of this fic.

**Author's Note:**

> I sincerely apologize. Please Comment about how much you hated/liked it.


End file.
